As I mentioned in my first post “Firsts Things First,” after 3 years in my first pastorate, I have recently accepted a call to become the preaching elder of a new church in Tennessee. Before moving on to discuss some of the other topics that I brought up in that first post, I thought I would address the issue of Leaving Well. This is an issue that I think is pretty common, not only to pastors, but almost even more so to regular church members and attenders. A quick disclaimer: I do not pretend to be an expert on this subject, nor as well read as I would like to be, so please bear in mind that these opinions are based solely on my personal experience and observations as a pastor.
First, let me explain where I am currently serving and how my wife and I came to the decision that, not only was it time for us to move on, but that God had given us the clarity of call to do so. Currently, I am serving as the pastor of Crossroads Baptist Church in Corinth, MS. I was raised in Corinth. It’s a great little town in northeast Mississippi that is home to the Slugburger and Roscoe Turner, as well as a strategic Civil War battle site. While Corinth is nestled directly in “fly over” country, it is home to great people and great food.
Crossroads Baptist is a small church right on the outskirts of town. It was and is an ideal place for a first pastorate. That said, however, I should stress that my intention and my desire was that my first pastorate would be my only pastorate. Not because I didn’t and don’t want to go through the hassle of moving again, but because I truly believe in the benefits of long-term ministry. Long-Term ministry allows for a minister to truly get to know their flock, laugh with them, mourn with them, and grow with them. Treating any church as a rung on a ladder is a misuse of the bride and body of Christ and an insult to the love that Jesus has for his Church (Eph. 5:25-28). Crossroads is an ideal place to serve as pastor, not because it is small and out of the way, but because it is a place that has folks who are willing to work with a pastor and grow with him and he with them. Frankly, if you are in the Corinth, MS area and need a church home, it would do your soul and spiritual life good to be at Crossroads. Tell them I sent you.
Now, with the point of longevity made, why would I leave? The short and simple answer to this is: God called. For non-believers, or even for hurting church members, this is not the most acceptable of answers. I say this because church members take the leaving of a pastor very personally. It feels like being abandoned. I understand that feeling as I saw it on the look of my church members faces on the Sunday I announced that I would be leaving. The flip side of that coin, church folks, is that pastors do not find it easy to leave. They feel like they are abandoning you. They take leaving very personally – especially if they have tried to invest their lives into you. The hard truth for both parties to swallow is that, as Martin Luther famously stated at the Diet of Worms, “my conscience is captive to the Word of God,” and as such pastors must sometimes move on because God has called.
This leads us into the topic at hand – what does it mean to “Leave Well?” The idea seems almost like an oxymoron. If members and pastors take the leaving of a leader so personally, how could one “leave well?” I think the answer is quite simple, which is why it is so complex – pastors and church members can leave a church well by giving appropriate notice and helping in the transition. All of this ties directly into the love that Christ has for his church, and by proxy the love that we should have for the church.
The key word in my definition for “leaving well” is appropriate. Let me explain without going into too much detail or giving names. At my current church, we have had quite a few people leave over my three years, all without advance notice, prior conversation or explanation, and this includes former leaders with important duties and roles within the church. This leads us back to our introductory paragraph: church members, it may hurt you when a beloved pastor leaves – but it hurts him when you leave too. Especially if you don’t discuss it with him before hand.
For many folks, especially in our culture, church is a merely like every other organization in the service industry. If church “a” doesn’t have the product that I want, then I’ll simply go to church “b.” Well, at least until the pastor at church “b” offends me by explaining Scripture, then I will check out church “c” or “d” or maybe even church “e.” The church isn’t a place where one invests their lives, time, or energies – rather, the church better meet all of my felt needs without asking for any commitment in return, or I’m taking my ball and going home. And when I decide to take my ball and go home, it’s my own business because… well… the church is nothing but a service industry and no one is affected by my departure. Feelings aren’t hurt. Relationships aren’t broken. A hole isn’t left. Responsibilities and ministries aren’t left reeling. And the pastor can just deal with it, because he is the problem, not my sin.
You get the point?
When church members leave without warning, the bride of Jesus suffers, not just the pastor. This is because Christians are called as a collective, as a body, as members of Jesus himself. Our culture of individualism has infected the church and has damaged this understanding. Imagine it like losing a hand in a bad automobile accident – it’s sudden, unexpected, and painful. When you up and leave on a Sunday and never return, never respond to contact attempts, or never reach out to discuss what upset you, a relationship dies. A hand is lost and all that is left is a mutilated body.
This is the point of appropriate. For church members it means, if you’re feeling unhappy in the church, tell your pastor. Frankly, other than our love of preaching, teaching, and studying the scriptures, this is why we got into ministry – to help other Christians look more like Jesus. More often than not, the issue that you’re having can be resolved by time, prayer, and mutual encouragement. Non-pastoral leaders, the same is true here. To be good leaders means to care for the flock above all else, even personal issues. This is because the Chief Shepherd has chosen you as helper to one (or multiple) under-shepherds to his flock. If you feel as though it is time to move on, do it appropriately and timely. Not last minute and not leaving the church reeling. Pastors, the same goes for you. Announcing your resignation on a Sunday morning and then getting out of Dodge by Sunday evening damages that local church, sometimes beyond repair. And woe to the man or woman who fatally damages the Bride on the Day of Christ!
All of this makes sense to anyone reading this post. Of course it does! How could it not? But, it does beg the question: Why is this so hard to understand? This is why – because we’re fallen. And, if the church is just a part of the service industry then it’s not a relationship. Church members, this is the challenge that your pastor(s) or elders are running up against. Have patience with them. Pastor(s) and elders – it is our job to hopefully turn the rudder of this ship towards an appropriate view of the church. But that’s a post for a later time.
So, after all of this… how does one leave well? There are many ways in which this can play out depending on the local church context, but here is how I am doing it.
Based on our church by-laws and constitution, I gave a 30 day notice. For many, this is unthinkable. For others, this just continues to open the wound of being hurt by the departure of a pastor. But, think of the ramifications of not loving the bride of Jesus enough to not leave them with a little grace! In my local church context, 30 days gives the church appropriate time to secure someone to fill in on Sundays until a new pastor is found. It gives the church time to discuss the departure with me and hopefully answer the many “whys” that will inevitably come up. It lets the non-preaching responsibilities be handed over to folks who can pick up the torch and keep the lights on without any interruption of duties.
Ideally, a pastor/elder would have been discipling his replacement, who could immediately step in and take his place at the appropriate time. This is how this is being handled in my new place of ministry. However, in my current ministry context (for reasons far beyond the scope of this post), this wasn’t an option. So, I am attempting to leave well by helping set the church on a path to continue moving them forward.
Finally, and I cannot stress this enough, a pastor/elder leaves a church well by actually leaving. This means, unless your church is governed in such a way that the former preaching/teaching pastor is staying on as a church member or even in a new role, then you need to leave. And not just that church, but that town. Obviously this rule doesn’t apply as much if you live in a major city, but it could and should still be considered. Why? Because humans have a bad (and sinful) habit of following a personality. And pastors are not exempt from this sin. In my own small town we have multiple pastors in our denomination who have spent their entire careers in this town (which is fine) but have moved to multiple churches (which is iffy) and many in their former churches have followed them (which is sinful). We can dig into this more in a separate post, but the point here is to leave your local expression of the bride of Jesus in the best possible way to help her continue towards growth and influence for the Gospel.
What are your thoughts on leaving well? How did you leave your church? Did you leave it well? How can we better equip the church for fruitful ministry when/if a transition in leadership occurs?
“According to the grace of God given to me, like a skilled master builder I laid a foundation, and someone else is building upon it. Let each one take care how he builds upon it. For no one can lay a foundation other than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if anyone builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw— each one’s work will become manifest, for the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire, and the fire will test what sort of work each one has done. If the work that anyone has built on the foundation survives, he will receive a reward. If anyone’s work is burned up, he will suffer loss, though he himself will be saved, but only as through fire.”
1 Corinthians 3:10-15, ESV
The SouthTown Pastor 