Family Worship – To the Glory of God

This week, I want to address the topic of family worship. I’m not going to claim to be an expert on this topic, but I did want to share with you all a brief theology of family worship as well as what my wife and I are doing to encourage one another in this way. As always, let’s begin with defining terms.

What is Family Worship?

The term “family worship” may be a bit off putting for some readers. Not because they don’t like the idea, or that it might not be appealing for them, but rather from the simple fact that it seems like a daunting task. Another way to approach this term “family worship” is with the term “family devotions.” For, it is in the act of “doing devotions” with our families that we help to lead them into worship.

Family Worship is the gathering together of the persons of your family (or members of the home) for prayer and the reading of Scripture. Nothing more is necessary or required for this act other than the leading of the head of the home. Some families add singing (especially families with children) as well as other elements that best fits their family culture. But, primarily, the reading of Scripture and prayer are the vital and necessary components.

So, why tack on the word “worship” here? Isn’t that what we do when we gather on the Lord’s Day with our churches? And isn’t that good enough? Well… yes, and no. Yes in that it is worship that we enter into on the Lord’s Day with our local congregations. No in that, frankly, only worshipping with your family on Sunday isn’t good enough. Let me explain.

Theology of Family Worship

In his profound little book entitled Family Worship, Donald S. Whitney notes on page 14 in the introduction that, “Having your family in a Christ-exalting, gospel-centered, Bible-teaching local church is crucial to Christian parenting. But it is not enough for conveying to your family all you want to teach them about God and your beliefs. Moreover, it is unlikely that exposure to the church once or twice a week will impress your children enough with the greatness and glory of God that they will want to pursue him once they leave your home… This is why family worship is so important.”

Let’s put it in another way – only exposing your children to God, Scripture, and the Gospel on Sundays or Wednesdays will not be enough to show them that Christ, Scripture, and worship are vital to their lives. Especially not after they move out, have their own families, and enter into careers. How do I know? I’m a pastor and I’ve seen it first hand over the last 3 years! And Dr. Whitney has been pastoring longer than I have and he’s seen it over the course of his ministry. Furthermore, and possibly even more importantly, only exposing your children to Christ, the Gospel, Scripture and worship on Sundays and Wednesdays shows them that Christ, the Gospel, Scripture and worship isn’t important to you. Sadly, I have seen the direct result of this firsthand.

So, what do we do? Where do we get the biblical command to worship with our families? There are two passages in particular that we can turn to that help us begin to build a theology of family worship. While both can easily be applied to families of all shapes and sizes, let’s address them in their contexts so that way we can hopefully apply them as simply as possible.

Families with Children

First, let’s turn to the Old Testament book of Deuteronomy. In this work, which is mostly a final sermon given by Moses prior to his death, Moses is reminding the people of Israel of the covenant that God made with the previous generation just 40 years prior at the foot of Mt. Sinai. In chapter 6 of Deuteronomy we read in verses 1-9:

“Now this is the commandment—the statutes and the rules—that the Lord your God commanded me to teach you, that you may do them in the land to which you are going over, to possess it, ² that you may fear the Lord your God, you and your son and your son’s son, by keeping all his statutes and his commandments, which I command you, all the days of your life, and that your days may be long. ³ Hear therefore, O Israel, and be careful to do them, that it may go well with you, and that you may multiply greatly, as the Lord, the God of your fathers, has promised you, in a land flowing with milk and honey. ⁴ “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. ⁵ You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. ⁶ And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. ⁷ You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. ⁸ You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. ⁹ You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”

That’s a large passage, but don’t worry, we’re not going to dig into all of it, nor are we going to fully develop our theology of family worship in this one post. However, let’s break this passage up into it’s basic elements, specifically in who Moses is addressing. While he is addressing the entire nation of Israel, there is a direct application from this passage to parents, especially in verses 4-9 and even further in verse 7.

So, what does this have to do with family worship? If anything should convince you that it is the job of the parents (and/or grandparents) to train up their children in the knowledge of Christ, and that family worship is vital, it is this passage. Directly addressing parents/grandparents, Moses tells them that “You shall teach them [the commands of God] diligently to your children…” Diligently here implies more than allowing the Children’s pastor, a Sunday School teacher, Youth Minister, or even the Pastor to expose your children to Scripture, Christ, and worship. Family worship helps to meet this need. Furthermore, when you lead your family in worship, you are obeying the command to “talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” What you are doing, most of all, is showing your children, grandchildren, and spouse that Scripture, Christ, the Gospel, and worship are important to you and it is now also important to your family life.

Families with no children

Speaking of a spouse, what if you are married but do not have children? This is the case for my family. Can you still have family worship if it is just you and your husband/wife? Yes! Our grounding in Scripture for this takes us to the New Testament, specifically Ephesians 5:25-33. There’s a lot of controversy around this passage, specifically a few verses prior to this where Paul uses the term “submit.” We’ll deal with that issue in a later post, but for now, let’s consider this passage in terms of the need and requirement for family worship. Read with me:

“²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, ²⁶ that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, ²⁷ so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. ²⁸ In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, ³⁰ because we are members of his body. ³¹ “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” ³² This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. ³³ However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.“

Let’s note first and foremost here that husband’s are given the command not only to love his wife, but to lead the home in this passage. Specifically as Christ presents the church “without spot or blemish,” the husband is to present his bride to Christ “without spot or blemish.” Now, I know what you’re thinking – no a man cannot redeem his wife, save her soul, or give her eternal life, only Christ can do that. But, husbands, what is our command here? It’s to love our wives as Christ has loved the church! Christ loved his bride so much that he gave himself up for her, in order to sanctify her, wash her, and present her in splendor. We may not be able to redeem, save, or sanctify our wives, but we sure can lead her to Jesus. In fact, we must lead her to Jesus. This is our job, husbands. Our job is to give of ourselves so much that our wives are treated with the same love, affection, and selfless giving that Christ himself has treated the church.

How does this relate to family worship? Because it is in family worship that we are leading our wives to Christ. It is in family worship that we are telling our wives that Christ matters to us, Scripture matters to us, and the Gospel matters to us… so, they’re going to matter in our home. This is being the godly husband that men were created to be, and abdicating this responsibility to your wife is no better than Adam abdicating his created role to Eve when they were tempted in the Garden. Men… love your wives as Christ loved the church and lead her in family worship.

Other Families

There is no disrespect intended in using this term, so please don’t take offense. I simply want to address all other possible family households and how they can also lead their homes in family worship. Families come in all shapes and sizes. There are the more “traditional” families of parents/kids or husband/wife, but sometimes that’s not the case. Sometimes it’s a single mother or father raising children because the other parent has left or has died. There is the single person who is not yet married or feels called to singleness (which we should affirm!). There’s the home where one parent (or both) are not Christians. What should these homes do?

To keep it simple, they should follow the same principles here. A single parent home can lead the family in worship. The single home can study and read and pray alone and worship – the same goes for the home where the parents are not believers. A suggestion here: If the parents are not hostile to the faith, ask them to join you for bible reading. So many Gospel conversations and conversions have occurred this way. Imagine being able to lead a parent or grandparent or sibling to Jesus!

Our Routine

Quickly, let me share with you the routine we use in our home. We have not been as faithful in family worship as I would like to say that we have. In fact, it has been pretty sporadic over our 10 years of marriage. This year, though, we finally seemed to have gotten into a bit of a routine.

Currently, we wake up, make coffee, and then sit down and open a one year bible. We are using the ESV Everyday Bible, which will take us through the Old Testament once and the Psalms and New Testament twice. We usually alternate who reads due to the length of some of the passages. We also make use of the ESV Devotional Psalter and read the devotion from that day’s particular Psalm, then we pray. It is my hope that, as we continue to move forward and be faithful to worship together that we will add some kind of liturgy to our worship as well. But, right now, we want to be faithful in the simple act of reading of praying together.

What about you? How does your family worship with one another? What is your routine? Tell us in the comments and let’s encourage one another!

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Recommended Reading:

• Family Worship – Donald S. Whitney
• Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life – Donald S. Whitney